One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!
My Layouts
Monday, March 3, 2008
Are you thinking of buying a house?
I bought my house five years ago in the middle of the housing boom. The market was wonderful for both sellers and buyers. Zero down loans were readily available and easy to qualify for. How quickly things have changed here in only five years. I feel incredibly fortunate that I knew a little about the mortgage industry, having worked in an office back in the early nineties. When I went to my bank, I was adamant about having a fixed rate loan. It didn't matter to me that I could have had an adjustable at 3%. I wanted the security of knowing that my payments would be the same for the next 30 years. Now 5 years later, we are seeing what the no money down, adjustable rate mortgages are doing to the housing market and the foreclosure rates.
With the housing market in a slump, if you've been thinking about taking the leap from renter to homeowner, now is the perfect time to look into making that dream come true. It's definitely a buyers market nowadays. The first thing I would recommend that you do if you are thinking of buying a house is to get a Mortgage Quote and get yourself prequalified for a mortgage. When searching out a mortgage, take into account many things including interest rate and escrow standing. Do you want to be responsible for your own taxes & insurance? A lot of mortgage companies are willing to look into this provided you meet the criteria. A lot of people, me included, prefer to have that escrowed into their monthly payments. The interest rate most likely will not vary that much between lenders, unless you've got a broker that is bumping your rate to make their commission. So it never hurts to shop around for mortgage rates if you feel that the rate you're being quoted is too high. There are many factors that go into what rate you are quoted though, so what may be a great rate for your Uncle Charlie may be unobtainable for you. Seek out a qualified mortgage broker and realtor if you are thinking about buying your first home. Take advantage of this fabulous buyers market. Hopefully it will turn back to a sellers market soon.
With the housing market in a slump, if you've been thinking about taking the leap from renter to homeowner, now is the perfect time to look into making that dream come true. It's definitely a buyers market nowadays. The first thing I would recommend that you do if you are thinking of buying a house is to get a Mortgage Quote and get yourself prequalified for a mortgage. When searching out a mortgage, take into account many things including interest rate and escrow standing. Do you want to be responsible for your own taxes & insurance? A lot of mortgage companies are willing to look into this provided you meet the criteria. A lot of people, me included, prefer to have that escrowed into their monthly payments. The interest rate most likely will not vary that much between lenders, unless you've got a broker that is bumping your rate to make their commission. So it never hurts to shop around for mortgage rates if you feel that the rate you're being quoted is too high. There are many factors that go into what rate you are quoted though, so what may be a great rate for your Uncle Charlie may be unobtainable for you. Seek out a qualified mortgage broker and realtor if you are thinking about buying your first home. Take advantage of this fabulous buyers market. Hopefully it will turn back to a sellers market soon.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
New release, Happy Birthday sale & a shopping spree
First off, I want to show you Kiki Halbert's newest papers. They're available over at PDW. I think that these are soon to become my faves by her for scrapping those photos of Josh that I have just recently gotten. I love her papers and their depth.
I just got my hands on it, so keep an eye out for new Josh related layouts soon. And stop off at PDW and pick up this paper pack. You won't be sorry.
I just got my hands on it, so keep an eye out for new Josh related layouts soon. And stop off at PDW and pick up this paper pack. You won't be sorry.Speaking of shopping, I went on the spree to end all sprees yesterday. Happy Birthday to Megan, Flergs as she's more commonly known. For her birthday, she gave us a sale and a whole bunch of new stuff. 
I got this with the borders, Nana's garden, Grunged and the funky collection. I also picked up an older Jofia kit and 3 kits from Lindsay Jane Designs over at SBB. SBB is also offering a collab kit with any $10 purchase. Melissa Bennett sells there, so go and check it out. I have so much that I need to just take a scraping break and scrap, scrap, scrap. So if I disapear for awhile, it's to recharge my energy from all the negativity that is going around the digi scrapping world and to get some of my fabulous new goodies a work out.
I got this with the borders, Nana's garden, Grunged and the funky collection. I also picked up an older Jofia kit and 3 kits from Lindsay Jane Designs over at SBB. SBB is also offering a collab kit with any $10 purchase. Melissa Bennett sells there, so go and check it out. I have so much that I need to just take a scraping break and scrap, scrap, scrap. So if I disapear for awhile, it's to recharge my energy from all the negativity that is going around the digi scrapping world and to get some of my fabulous new goodies a work out. Enjoy the rest of the week and have an awesome weekend.
Find yourself in a cash crunch?
Have you ever found youself in a cash crunch? Car troubles or unexpected bills pop up? What do you do in a situation like that? Who can you turn to for help? How do you know who you can trust? In situations like this, a pay day loan company may be your only alternative. Did you know that there are companies online that also do these loans? So you can find help from the comfort of your own home. All you need to qualify for a cash advance is to have a job where you make over $1000 a month, be at least 18 and a US citizen and have an active bank account with direct deposit set up. Your credit rating does not go into play with online payday loans. I don't think it could get any easier.
With the growing number of Cash Advance companies out there, Congress has stepped in to force reform within the industry. There are now 3 catagories based on the state you live in. The first one caps the interest rate and length of loans. The second one allows the consumer and lender to agree upon an interest rate, which the lender can change only with the approval of the consumer. And the third sets a maxium interest rate the lender can charge for a maximum amount they can lend. Whatever your catagory your state falls into, the government has it set up so consumers don't fall into the cycle of debt.
With the growing number of Cash Advance companies out there, Congress has stepped in to force reform within the industry. There are now 3 catagories based on the state you live in. The first one caps the interest rate and length of loans. The second one allows the consumer and lender to agree upon an interest rate, which the lender can change only with the approval of the consumer. And the third sets a maxium interest rate the lender can charge for a maximum amount they can lend. Whatever your catagory your state falls into, the government has it set up so consumers don't fall into the cycle of debt.
A little humor
A SPANISH Teacher Was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: ' el lapiz..'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: ' el lapiz..'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.
Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Insurance quotes
You may know that I'm big on insurance. I think it's incredibly important part of one's financial life and can often mean the difference between hardship and windfall. But insurance is very tricky. There are a lot of terms that are used that don't make sense. Like Full Coverage. You would think that you're fully covered with if you have this type of insurance, but your not. Your car is fully covered to be repaired or replaced regardless of fault. You and your passengers may not be covered. Now, since I have an insurance license in the state I live in, I understand the terminology, but the average person usually doesn't, unless they do their research. And if you were buying a car, computer or tv would you do some research? Why is insurance any different. It's a BIG potential purchase. You don't realize how important it is until you really need it. And remember that cheap insurance isn't always the best insurance. Make sure that you and your loved ones are covered correctly against losses.
It's always good to check around for insurance yearly at your renewal. The Internet has made it even easier. At EZ Insurance Portal, you can get real time quotes from the nations leading insurance companies in just a few minutes. Just answer a few simple questions and you can have offers immediately. And not only can you get an auto insurance quote, but also homeowners, life and health insurance. Also on this site are articles that can help you understand what you need to know about insurance. It's a very helpful and easy site to navigate and a good way to start your insurance check up for the year.
It's always good to check around for insurance yearly at your renewal. The Internet has made it even easier. At EZ Insurance Portal, you can get real time quotes from the nations leading insurance companies in just a few minutes. Just answer a few simple questions and you can have offers immediately. And not only can you get an auto insurance quote, but also homeowners, life and health insurance. Also on this site are articles that can help you understand what you need to know about insurance. It's a very helpful and easy site to navigate and a good way to start your insurance check up for the year.
The 80's ~ a little fun
Not really who I'd have first thought of, but ok I see it.
Your 80s Hunk Is |
 John Stamos |
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